I Kept My Family's Secret For Over 60 Years. Now, I'm Finally Telling The Truth.

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Adoption

Yvonne Liu is a freelance writer in Los Angeles. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, Newsweek, Salon and NBC News. She is writing a memoir about adoption, childhood trauma and mental health. You can see more of her work at www.yvonneliuwriter.com.

The author at 16 months old with her parents, one month after she arrived in the U.S. The photo was taken in Park Forest, Illinois, in July 1960.Until last year, I told everyone I was born in Chicago. Every school form, all of my college and job applications, and even my medical records listed my birthplace as Illinois. That was a lie. I was actually born in Hong Kong to a woman I’ve never met. And until last year, more than 60 years after my birth, I kept my adoption a secret.

My mom and dad provided food and shelter but left me hungry for the nurturing, love, and attention a child needs from a parent. PTSD from international and civil wars in China, life as one of the few Chinese families in a Rust Belt suburb during the Cold War, and unmet career dreams for my well-educated fatherThe author’s parents chose to adopt her based on this photo and two others they received from an adoption agency. The author is of an unknown age in this photo taken in Hong Kong .

“Education is the one thing they can’t take away from you,” Dad would say many evenings as he drank whiskey to unwind from his job as a research scientist.friends, Dad’s work colleagues and his boss. My friends weren’t invited. After a week, Dad’s attention drifted back to my brother — and his own despair at never achieving more in his career.I never stopped working hard to achieve in every way I could, both academically and professionally.

There was no reason to hide my truth any longer. It was time. I wanted to live an authentic life with nothing to hide.Decadeslong friends were shocked when I shared my 98-word Tiny Love Stories piece about my adoption. Many people — friends and strangers alike — wrote on social media that they cried as they read my story.A month after the piece appeared, my brother gave me a dusty manila file he discovered during pandemic cleaning. It was labeled “Yvonne’s Adoption.

 

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