"I hear you, and that isn’t my experience.""I am not interested in debating what happened with you."2. The silent treatment
In this scenario, the manipulator stops speaking to the other person because, yes, they are genuinely upset, says mental health counselor; however, they use silence with the intent of maintaining power. “The victim is made to believe that they’ve done an egregious act that can only be forgiven through extensive efforts,” he explains.
Spinelli adds that giving someone the silent treatment doesn't have to happen in person; digital communication is often fraught with manipulative behaviors."Deliberately not responding to text messages or emails with the intention of making a person wait in order to elicit anxiety or maintain control is a huge sign of manipulation," she says. So keep an eye out for intentional silence of all varieties.
This type of manipulation is fairly harmless, but can be annoying. So if you have someone in your life who's consistently manipulating you in this way, consider sitting them down and starting the conversation with"When you do [X], it makes me feel [Y]."Grand urgent overtures of love in a blossoming relationship is a form of manipulation, says Spinelli."It’s a strategic intent to manipulate the feelings of someone to fall quickly into the relationship," she explains.
If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, please seek help from the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-899-7323 or Oh hi! You look like someone who loves free workouts, discounts for cutting-edge wellness brands, and exclusive Well+Good content.