." This makes sense; they are suffering greatly and they want to feel relief. But that goal comes from a faulty view of what psychological health actually is that is very prevalent in our society.
When a client seeks my help with an anxiety disorder, they typically believe the problem is that they simply have too much anxiety and that the solution is to find a way to bring the anxiety down to what they consider to be a"normal" intensity and frequency.Everybody comes to therapy wanting to improve their mental health. But to do that, we need a workable definition of what good mental health actually is.
The definition of good mental health is being willing to experience any thought or any feeling at any time, in any place, under any circumstances, at any intensity, for any duration...unfeeling and theyOne of the biggest constants in the history of the research literature on clinical psychology is that avoiding parts of your experience causes psychological problems, whereas increasing awareness, acceptance, and contact with those avoided parts of your experience improves psychological problems.
People who don't defend against unwanted emotions accept the things they cannot control . They don't treat emotions like anxiety as problems and so, paradoxically, those emotions cannot become problems. Anxiety is still there; no one has a complete absence of anxiety. But if it is accepted and experienced willingly, it does not impair functioning and it does not stop the person from doing anything.So when my clients tell me their goal is to reduce their anxiety, I tell them that is indeed possible and in fact the typical result of therapy, but the way we get there is actually by giving up on that goal and allowing anxiety to happen.
but if it feels like it's not the time. cuz if u have plus emotional entanglement with issues.. , u cant do it either way.
the only way you and the other person are going to heal is if you communicate just cutting someone out of your life stopping any form of communication is not going to solve your problems it may worsen them you have to communicate in order for things to change
It is not that we will get rid of negative emotions, but we will stop them in this episode, and it will be dealt with...and stop bothering a person... GOAL...
No acceptance is required for this technique to work... in fact, we are REJECTING this negative emotions...but we PROCESS them to understand them and in doing so THEY RELEASE... they nag us, so we give them attention and work on them. It is not that we will get rid of them...
If anyone is interested in the technique or my research, I invite you to learn more about it on my blog: My Ebook of my 10 years of research teaches the technique: As does my paperback-
These are some things the technique works on: suicidal thoughts, flashbacks, panic attacks, Aggravation, Anger, Hate, Hostility, sadness, grief, guilt, worthlessness, hopelessness, Fears Stress, Intimidation, Shyness, Worry, Horror, Terror, Panic and MORE
It is not just anxiety emotions but ALL negative emotions.
My podcast on anxiety emotions and how the technique helps: In this podcast I discuss anxiety range emotions and how the technique can help stop them and help improve anxiety issues. If a person has a fear, they can stop THIS particular episode of fear.
How can a person accept 'the unacceptable' when they cannot tolerate it? But they can PROCESS 'the unacceptable' as an emotional charged situation, process the emotions concerned, and the anxiety of it can reduce, fade, and CEASE. Without 'acceptance'...
GOOD mental health is the PROCESSING of all emotions, especially the negative ones. It is not about 'acceptance'. It is the PROCESSING of unwanted emotions that can stop them, and without any acceptance. We don't WANT to 'accept' them that is why we don't. Processing is different
but feels like it's not the time. cuz if u have plus emotional disadvantage, u cant do it either way.
many people run from problems because they dont want to face up to them on the night of my sister in law julie and brother marks engagement party i can remember that their daughter evie did not let my sister naomis kids into her bedroom and closed the door telling them to get out
Because it teaches us that mistakes happen. And only fools don’t learn from them
Self acceptance is big.
Interrupt yourself by asking: 1. What am I feeling right now? (disappointed, confused, furious) 2. What happened to make me feel this way? (They brushed me off with no explanation.)
❤️
one of many life paradoxes
Observe yourself with honesty especially when you see things about yourself that aren’t pleasing. Don’t take them personally. They are ego traits. This practice will help you heal false beliefs, loosen attachments & gain insights about yourself. 💛 👇
Face your fears - it will make you stronger…
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