I’m continuing my mental health medication throughout pregnancy (and no, I don’t feel guilty)

When I found out I was expecting my first baby, I panicked. Not just about becoming a mother for the first time, or about how my partner - who wasn’t ready for children - was going to react, but because I knew I was going to keep my baby, and I knew it might mean I would have to come off of my mental health medication.

Before I was medicated, I was a living nightmare. Living with undiagnosed bipolar disorder absolutely sucks. My moods would constantly fluctuate, I would act out, I couldn’t control my temper, my emotions were all over the place. I spent every other night breaking down, and I had no real sense of who I was.

I’ve also chilled out a lot, I handle my emotions better and I no longer have a temper. Of course, I can’t attribute all of these changes to medication as I have also had therapy and see a psychiatrist, but I don’t think I would cope without my medication. When I finally went to the antenatal appointment, and spoke about the medication, I was told that I could stay on it if I liked - although some women do decide to come off it completely. I learned that the medication is largely risk-free and that the risks are super minute.

I understand some women will disagree - and I understand why some people may choose to quit, but for me, medication changed my life, and I just can’t risk going back to the place I was in all those years ago.

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