Not just because creating a new life is kind of a big deal, or because it was unplanned, or because I had only been in a relationship with the baby’s dad for nine months - but because I was scared that I would fail at it.
I remember feeling very nervous at my first midwife appointment. I was adamant I wasn’t going to talk about my mental health issues, but of course, I’d completely forgotten that I had to disclose the medication I was taking - of which are all for mental health reasons - and therefore, I was caught out. The midwife asked me about the medications and I had to explain myself, but I told her that I didn’t want to talk further about it because I didn’t want to risk losing my baby.
She explained that if anything, it is good to talk to her about my mental health because that way she can get me the appropriate support that I need, and therefore my pregnancy will be a lot easier and less stressful. Within a week I saw the antenatal mental health team, and there the psychiatrist explained that I am high-risk for post-natal depression due to my bipolar disorder. Of course, that is scary, but the team are now helping me prepare with frequent appointments, ongoing care, and most importantly honesty between us.
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