Health Experts Recommend Standing Up At Desk, Leaving Office, Never Coming Back

📆 11/15/2019 7:44 PM
📰 TheOnion

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ROCHESTER, MN—In an effort to help working individuals improve their fitness and well-being, experts at the Mayo Clinic issued a new set of health guidelines Thursday recommending that Americans stand up at their desk, leave their office, and never return. “Many Americans spend a minimum of eight hours per day sitting in an office, but we observed significant physical and mental health benefits in subjects after just one instance of standing up, walking out the door, and never coming back to their place of work again,” said researcher Claudine Sparks, who explained that those who implemented the practice in their lives reported an improvement in mood and reduced stress that lasted for the remainder of the day, and which appeared to persist even into subsequent weeks. “We encourage Americans to experiment with stretching their legs by strolling across their office and leaving all their responsibilities behind forever just one time to see how much better they feel. People tend to become more productive, motivated, and happy almost immediately. We found that you can also really get the blood flowing by pairing this activity with hurling your staff ID across the parking lot.” Sparks added that Americans could maximize positive effects by using their lunch break to walk until nothing looks familiar anymore and your old life is a distant memory.

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I did that. Now i am sitting at home desk pondering how do i make a living/reprogramming myself is confusing me

NCPedsRD

which companies allows that ? 🙄

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Sounds totally reasonable.

Lukewearechange 🤣🤣🤣🤣

What about 'I will be back sentence'? 😅🤣

stevejanderson5 but they’re experts :) xxx

Look at that, I’m already a third of the way there, now I just have to force myself to leave the desk.

I've done that. I recommend it as well. Worked wonders!

But this is contradicted by financial experts.

tgreseth 👍👏

stevejanderson5 can’t argue with “experts” they have letters after their names... ‘n shit :)

yes yes yes

Planning on doing this at 5:00. Probably come back Monday when I’m broke.

animeminionbage

Where do health experts recommend living when evicted for not paying rent?

Lol

Good?

Demonpuppy

marxianangel

Funny, Hayley just did exactly that!

TFLN emilymintle me today.

Laughed for a solid minute at this one.

does this work with school age children?

I think Jason schreier could use that advice seeing how he blocks anyone who disagrees with him or anyone who interact with anyone he doesn't like.

It's a step by step process

Hahaha

Dzghozt Oh I just belly laughed sitting at my desk at work thank you for this

Wow. You guys read my soul today.

sethleupagus

praxis

Caution. Symptoms may include homelessness and starvation.

Funny.... But true

Done, now what? When do the money deliveries come in? Hello?

I stand for this! 😋

XD I lost it lol.

pcplans Lol 😂 I did that. ✔️

It worked for me.

Tuck your damn shirt in

reminds me of this chainsawsuit strip

If only

Great advice for people that enjoy the outdoors and want to lose some weight!

Health Experts tips on how to get through the anxiety of a presentation: Don't do it.

So do I.

In 3 years. I will be able to do that👣

I thought we evolved to sit at desk ?

This is a great plan! How many sprints are required? 😏

I had a conversation with a homeless guy in Portland. He said he was never going to work again. Seemed healthy to me. This could be sound advice.

Good for health, bad for financial status

How a lot of people feel at work everyday :/

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