airboarding underwater style
She could get me to vote for whomever she wishes.
Big if true
X-CIA agent hiding in a sweat lodge in Taos says: there is nothing hotter than her standing over me in the leather thingy, waterboarding me. Third time this week. My vote ain't cheap, but it can be had. Like me!
If getting water-boarded is your fate, I'd rather choose this hottie Valerie Plame to do it for me.
🖕🏻
It’s getting harder for The Onion to make up stuff that are not close to reality. The torture lady Gina Haspel is currently running the CIA!
Get her in the UN...quickly...simply to have someone who really understands and is familiar with foreign affairs, representing the most powerful (but sliding fast) nation on earth. Damn...can't even say Democracy anymore.
Guess the would-be jokester is too young to know that Plame was illegally driven out of the CIA by the same exact people who created the post-9/11 torture regime within the CIA. If you were aiming for comedy of the absurd, you only got halfway there, my incel friend.
I will NOT Share my Yoghurt Recipe !
Shhhh! Nobody's supposed to know she's a secret agent.
'Best torture sessions, ever. Everyone in the CIA is talking about them, especially in Toledo. Water boarding was really, really wet. Melaina's son would love it. Mike Pounce says it's in the Bible too.'
Yes, because who can forget those accusations about her torturing people. Seriously, you guys have really gone down the drain.
😆😆😆
The new season of Animal Kingdom looks like shit.
Nice.
you guys are cwazy
Valerie Plame tortured me! I was undecided. She tied me to her bed naked, stripped herself, & mounted me. It was horrible! The moans, the screams, the begging; and that was just Valerie's Shih Tzu! I'm still undecided. I'm seeing her again on Saturday!
A new low for the United States when the former CIA Spy candidate seems like a decent choice.
After that commercial, she can torture me any day.
She has my vote. On Dancing with the Stars, that is...
Keep that warmongering spook out of Congress!
Y'know, out of everyone hurt by Cheney's evil, she's doing pretty good.
Sounds like a democrat..makes it sound real
Unfortunately, she chose to move to NM.
theglipper Per usual - Onion being cold bloodedly incisive. ✨ 🔪✨
That's why you read the fine print on what you agree to when registering to vote. I'm just glad they removed the human centipede clause to get more people to register.
👏🏻👏🏻
Michael Bay has moved on to making campaign ads now
i’ve seen crazier headlines on actual news outlets lately lol
Kinda’ flat. theonion.
“I will waterboard homelessness”
It still looks pretty stupid in the Bahamas
Enhanced interrogating voters*.
Y’all did it again 💀
With her hotness?
That's what this was? I thought it was an ad for the new season of BurnNotice