That's my 401k advisor dream. My responce is ' Dude you know I'm going to die one day right!'
So true. I will be fired for not showing up for work after I die.
I sincerely hope to die on the job
Thanks GOP
Poor Ginsburg.
i pit off work till a few minutes before my death
Those few moments are quality time. Now to do the things they've always put off.
Too real. Had this convo earlier
Death is the ultimate retirement. 😄
It's a little too real when I have sick and/or elderly coworkers who don't show up for work because they're in the ER and die the next day.
Poor Onion writers. Their humor has become a reality.
It's Really Tough Giving Up Casual Fridays and Those Free Donuts.
A shame I can like this only once!
our financial analyst said it works out better that way
Same.
as it should be
More like: ' More white Americans dying from substance abuse before retirement.'
My grandma passed away last night. She was still doing bookkeeping for a store in her town with my mom the day before. She was 95.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Day 692 of waiting for The Onion to post an article that's actually satire
wait this isn't even fake, this is real news going on in america right now
Why?
My Hawaiian Moon Retirement
This one’s not so funny. I’m gonna have to work right up until lunch on the day of my funeral.
Yep, I’m biting my lip right now...🥴
The Onion: After Dark It's when the funniest and most disturbing tweets happen.
Thankfully we work in a country where we can work until we die right foxnews
SadButTrue
i love you guys. this is funny. and not, at the same time. see what i'm sayin'?
Hey! That's my Retirement Plan too!!!
Hey man, your articles have been getting a little too real lately.
Well actually this is true and not a spoof.
The onion isn't even funny anymore bc these takes aren't even exaggerated now
When you have a meager income, consider working for the MakeAWish Foundation.
It sure feels true.
Lucky buggers get to retire, even if it is brief.
God damn it. Start LIVING a little.
just live lol
Globalists cheer.
nothing like enjoying your Golden Minutes ;)
Retirement? What's that?
This is literally my grand mum. She is in her 80’s and still works a restaurant like you wouldn’t believe.
Still looking for people to eat the onion
It's literally all I could afford.
It’s a choice I swear!