was shot. Noon in Damascus is 3 AM in Albuquerque. When could a New Mexican sheriff, in broad daylight, successfully call a special ops soldier—also in broad daylight, in the middle of the Syrian desert —on her personal phone? As bonus credit, please identify all three war crimes committed by the heroes before the title card hits. I’m sorry to begin my review with a word problem, but this movie’s problems extend beyond its words.
—it could find elegance in that straightforward structure. This is the film Webber thinks he’s in, one where Jesse’s psychosexual relationship with Parker informs all his choices and is a driving force of the movie. He tries to But the movie tires of itself and its established villains quickly, moving its own goalposts to a new set of baddies: A group of domestic terrorists, purchasing stolen weapons from Elvis, as faceless as the Syrians Parker’s team were murdering earlier. As Parker starts killing, it becomes clear that, unlike so many movies with military heroes,isn’t a rah-rah flag-waver. Army depot guys are selling to unscrupulous gunrunners in broad daylight, after all.
When the film actually allows itself to be an action movie, the fights trudge through invisible molasses. You’d think there’d be a certain appeal to watching Jessica Alba stab a bunch of Todd Snyder cowboy cosplayers, but each combatant looks like they’re trying to remember the steps to that one ballroom dance class they took in college.