: sort out Ucas forms; nurse three warm cans of John Smiths through an underwhelming house party; get abs like Brad Pitt inSo I went to a gym that had been set up in a portable cabin at my school with my mate Nick. He kept talking about “lean gains”. I kept nodding, and saying “lean gains” back at him. Lean gains. It felt good. Lean gains. I made a mental note to find out what lean gains were.
The class started by just walking from side to side and doing a big kick. Walk, walk, walk, kick. Walk, walk, walk, kick. I wondered what Nick would have said. Where were the gains? Exactly how lean could they have been? They’re all a bit tired. They’ve all got places to be. They are here for exactly 45 minutes of mildly strenuous wandering around soundtracked by trance remixes of Pitbull songs, and then they’re going home.