Emotional abuseat the time it is done, it also sets up a life pattern that daily assaults the inner being. Present events and relationships are filtered through the negative messages and events of the past. Behavior is unknowingly modified to produce results consistent with the established life pattern. Through continued emotional assault, even a healthy life pattern can be subverted by an abusive one.Don’t ever let anyone tell you that emotional abuse is not damaging.
You learn there are no safe moments. Your abuser may be absent, but he or she may reappear at any time. Though you were met with an apathetic response yesterday, you may be met with violent outrage tomorrow. You are robbed of the security of anticipation. You fear what each day will hold.The reason given for the abuse varies: You are bad, stupid, or unwanted. No matter the reason provided, you are to blame for what is happening to you. You are guilty of causing the abuse.
For some people, assuming guilt for the abuse might seem to be a devastating decision, and it is. But it also has some very practical uses. For the person who has been emotionally abused, guilt is born out of a sense of fear of the world and what it holds. At first it makes no sense that this should be happening, but then guilt takes over. You feel responsible. Maybe you think, “Bad things happen to me because I am bad.
This rage and anger can be explosive and consuming, taking opposite directions upon release. Often in the abused person this anger is directed inward. Presented daily with “proof” of their total unworthiness, the emotionally abused can turn the frustration on themselves.It is said that depression is only anger turned inward. Emotionally abused people often give up on emotions, since emotions have proven to be so damaging.