Whenever I go home to visit my South Asian family, despite having an older brother, I become the family therapist. I am always seeking to relieve my parents from stress and their own anxieties. I have always felt like my dad’s “pet”; he loves having me around, and I have noticed that I feel the need to help him feel better when he is in a bad mood.
Sometimes I just want some alone time in my room or to make plans with friends, but I feel pressured to be present and around my parents when I am home. I have reminded myself time and time again that others’ moods are not my responsibility. Over time, both of my parents have become dependent on me being around to help them feel better — mentally and emotionally — but it takes a toll on me when I am constantly running around to try to make them feel better. What can I do to break my people-pleasing habits, as well as stop letting my parents’ moods affect my own? Have you always played the role of therapist in your family? In every family, members will fall into specific roles, based on the invisible demands and expectations imposed on them