Part of the work that must be done when seeking help is the need to address our personal relationship to masculinity.
As a therapist, I’ve had the opportunity to explore masculinity with many men. Those sessions became almost sacred, as they were able to risk being vulnerable with another man in ways they never had been. Many, if not most, felt they didn’t belong as a man, left on the outside looking in. For all, there was a deep craving for brotherhood and emotional connection with other men.
The world desperately needs men with the courage to face their emotional wounding. It is the only way to grow beyond our past and live a more complete life. When that work is ignored, we are more likely to react to our anxieties and fears, damaging our relationships in the process. As once put it: “Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.”Some in our culture see this shifting of male norms as a threat, but I can attest from my own experience that it can be a liberation. Men are beginning to find emotional room to breathe and to allow themselves to care for their whole being. This change in modern masculine norms will only accelerate as more men take the leap into therapy and do their inner healing work.