Two years into a marriage with a three-month-old daughter, Ms Smith, who was then 34, was still high with the excitement of starting a family with the man she thought she would spend the rest of her life with.
“It was like my world collapsed… I sacrificed so much to start a family with him while I was pursuing a PhD, and was filled with hope and happiness of a family life,” said the Singaporean, who declined to state her occupation. Just two days later, Worker’s Party MP for Aljunied GRC Leon Perera and fellow WP central executive committee member Nicole Seah
One spouse turned to alcohol to ease the pain, while another sought psychiatric help following the shock. “We’re still a very traditional society, so people question who did what wrong when a relationship breaks down… it’s tough to handle that when you’re dealing with the betrayal,” said Ms Smith. She had thought little about the red flags that foreshadowed her husband's affair — he had left her with a friend at a party to tail a young girl to the bathroom, and once went missing while they were travelling in Prague to “gawk at girls”.
“I felt the rug yank from under my feet. I was angry beyond words,” she said, recalling how she felt upon discovering the messages.When she confronted her husband with the messages, he insisted that there was “nothing going on”. It took her over a year for Mrs SL to move on after divorcing her husband — but not before turning to alcohol to lessen the pain.
“I was embarrassed because my friends like me for who I am; a strong and independent person. But during that time, that was not who I was.” “It's hard to trust people or really talk about it because its so raw... all the emotions and time I devoted to him just came crashing down because of his actions.”For Sam , his father's infidelity has made him “grow up incredibly quickly”.
“It felt like he was literally part-timing as my dad, and part-timing as someone else's husband,” said Sam, adding that it had been an odd compromise “in hindsight”. She sees her former husband's affairs as something she caused, and also fears others judging her family.“To this day, I feel like her primary caretaker. Caretaker exhaustion is real, and I get it whenever she has flare-ups, temper tantrums and episodes,” he said.
2/ For Sam (not his real name), his father's infidelity when he was just 11 has made him “grow up incredibly quickly”. Sam, who is in his 20s now, told TODAY that his mother still struggles with depression and anxiety from the ordeal.
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