This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Heather Clements, a 35-year-old retired surrogate who lives in Hillsboro, Oregon. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
The first time an agency sent me a couple to review, I read their bio and didn't feel like we'd have a connection, so I passed up working with them. When I read the bio of the second couple the agency sent, I felt like we had similar outlooks on life and I was excited to learn more about them.I had always been an ally. The first couple I matched with was an LGBTQ couple from Israel.
After the baby is born, the couple goes back home with the baby, and while we still communicate, and I receive updates, it's never the same. The couple is focused on raising the baby and I go back to living my life. After my first-time as a surrogate, I was eager to do it again. The surrogacy center I use requires a minimum of one year in between pregnancies. So, I made sure to plan to do this when I could fully dedicate myself to the job.
You're not spending months planning for the baby to come home and setting up a crib, like you'd do for your own pregnancy. Instead, you're going through the IVF process for a month, taking hormone shots, going to doctor's appointments, and communicating daily updates to the couple.