We’re nervous about an upcoming work presentation, then lament our lack of confidence. We get angry at our partner and then feel guilty about our impatience. Our emotions undoubtedly influence our well-being – but recent research suggests that how we judge and react to those emotions may affect us even more.
It is likely to increase both the intensity of our negative feelings and the amount of time we suffer from them. Instead of having a feeling naturally pass after a few minutes, “you might be ruminating on it an hour later,” she said. “What one resists, persists,” said Amanda Shallcross, a naturopathic physician who studies emotion regulation at the Cleveland Clinic. When you avoid your emotions, “you’re bound to experience longer-term negative mental and physical health”.
Participants who said they didn’t usually accept their emotions reported experiencing more negative feelings while they gave the speech. When you experience a bad feeling, you don’t have to love the feeling, just try to feel neutral about it. The new study found that people who reacted neutrally were just as psychologically healthy as those who reacted more positively.
Practise and experience may also make emotional acceptance easier. Emotional well-being increases with age, and Dr Shallcross’ research has found that this could partially stem from the fact that people are generally better at accepting their emotions as they get older.