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It’s an act of self care, in and of itself, to let go of any strict definition for what self care should or needs to be. “Rigid rules and routines don’t tend to serve new parents well in a season full of sleep deprivation and intense change,” says Soule. There are no wrong answers here—other than “nothing,” that is. And if you’re struggling to come up with something, consider using the question above as a writing prompt rather than just asking yourself in your head, adds Kurtz: “Writing can stimulate a different part of the brain and may offer access to answers of which you were not fully aware.”
Even if you have your baby in tow, this type of socializing can also double as self care by reminding you that you’re not, in fact, alone, and by introducing you to a network of people on whom you may be able to lean for support in the future. This type of commitment also makes you accountable to others, whether it’s through a formal class or informal gathering, so you may feel more compelled to stick to it than with solo forms of self care.
Accepting offers of help from loved ones isn’t weak; it’s a responsible decision for your own health. And if you feel as though you’re on a parenting island, it’s essential to start the conversation about what kind of support you need from those in your sphere.