I have a situation that is causing a lot of issues in my relationship. We have been dating for 17 years, have lived together for close to nine years and have been engaged for six.
This has caused a rift in our relationship, as we view money very differently. I am pretty generous with it. There are no victims here, only volunteers. You volunteered to live in her home for the past nine years and to pay for improvements that added up to $10,000. I agree that’s a lot of money at first glance. But keep in mind that houses are expensive to maintain — property taxes, mortgage interest, gas and electricity, etc. What’s more, that $10,000 equates to about $93 per month over the years you have lived there. Chalk it up to wear and tear, goodwill and miscellaneous contributions.
With the important caveat that I have only heard your side of the story, there is a certain callousness at worst, or insensitivity at best, to your fiancée’s comment that she was subsidizing your early years of rent. While it’s your responsibility to be aware of the rental-market rates, this is yet another important nugget that was left untouched . Resentments are like dry rot in the structure of a house. They grow deeper over time, weakening the fundamentals of the relationship.
Ultimately, it’s important not to hold up your $10,000 renovations or $200-a-month health-insurance payment as leverage in the overall balance of power in the relationship. While those gestures show a great deal of goodwill, they also come with a “gift tax.” The more you pay and the longer you live under that roof, the more you may feel that you have a right to live in your fiancée’s home indefinitely. But the hard truth is that there is only one person’s name on that deed.
Yes!
you might have the right idea, let me 'splain, you both have your independent living spaces, you can choose to see each other or not depending on whatever, you don't have the legal entanglement of marriage, and you'll have a great sex life that comes anticipating it!
Why would you put &10,000 into a rental property! Not too bright.
YES!!!
You’re “borderline “!!
Love knows no limits ! Cheers!
yes! unless this is more, then a rent arrangement ?
Good thing you didn't marry her. Get out before it's to late
coachgregadams
Simp.
Yep
Uh...she's using you and has been for years. Get away from her and do your own thing. Plenty of other fish in the sea. Or just be single. You don't need this anymore.
Welcome to the club, mate. You are not crazy, she’s just smarter than you, that’s all. It happens to the best of us, just make sure you don’t feel any guilt when she’s done with you. Make sure all this was provided from the good of your big heart!!! ♥️
Hope she's good in bed.
Yes
You never respond to questions. For that, I’m blocking you
All is fair in love and war my fiend
Yes
Why was she his fiancé for 9 years? If he wanted to help her because he loved her is one thing, but now to have regrets makes him a fool!
Afraid so.
Definitely!
This is it even a money question ., these are small small dollars .. this is a relationship question ., good luck
Yes
Depends on how much the rent was, if you married her and if was in a community property state…
Starting with “fiance of 9 years”
A question proposed to me was: Is the F'n you're getting worth the F'n you're taking...🥴😂
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