Many of us are, and would prefer not even think about about how, why, and when we’ll die. The uncertainty of what happens after we take our last breath is so overwhelming that we’ve kept the door to these existential thoughts locked shut. But for terminally ill patients and the elderly, death is already knocking on this same door, with many of them already peeping through the keyhole, staring the uninvited guest right in the eye.
As an end-of-life doula, Charity’s clientele consists of terminally ill patients – those with cancer or even the elderly – who are trying to live a meaningful life, knowing they do not have much time. She also caters to patients in palliative care who just want to live as comfortably as they can before they die.
Whatever type of grief is present in her clients, the ultimate goal for Charity is to help them “navigate” through it. It’s not to solve the grief or remove it – grief is not something that can be “fixed” anyway – but rather, to help these clients “swim along” with every moment, every day, she said. Charity was suddenly at a crossroads. “I thought my life was pretty set. I would continue to rise up the corporate ladder and make more businesses profitable,” Charity said. “But faced with my own reality, I suddenly realized: With this huge possibility of dying, how would I live my life differently?”
One year after being cleared of cancer, Charity left her stable job, which she had thought was “everything” to her. Faced with the uncertainty of the future, she began equipping herself with certifications in leadership coaching, life coaching, end of life certification, self love teaching, and grief coaching.
“The challenging part is to be able to manage my own emotions, but over the years I have learned some tools to be able to protect my energy while I hold space for them,” she said. If you thought your job burnout was real, it could not be more real for Charity. Almost every day she is faced with the possibility of losing her dear clients and friends.
First, Charity makes sure to tell her terminally ill patients – whether still in their early stages or on palliative care –that cancer is not random, and only they can embrace that this is a journey they are meant to go on. With so many clients helped, are there any success stories that stand out to Charity? For Charity, every patient is different, but the overarching theme is always “triumph over transcendence.” This means that whether a cancer patient survives or not, the story deserves to be honored, regardless.
Nice to know that there are still kind hearted people like her who cares for cancer stricken patients. I wish her well. God bless you mam💕💕💕👏👏👏🙏