Just before we started fertility treatment, my partner left me

I’m in my mid-30s and was in a relationship for 10 years with someone I love very deeply and thought I’d grow old with. We recently started to have medically assisted IUI with donor sperm and then my partner left me two days before our first insemination. I, and we had a lot of love and intimacy, yet she then left again.and I feel so sad and as though I can’t let go of what I thought was going to be our baby.

and while, at the beginning, I tried to talk to her, she stonewalled me so much that in the end I just got angryHow the hell do I process and accept all of this, and how am I meant to move on and be OK? I can’t get beyond feeling as though I am a failure and have hugely malfunctioned, which isn’t rational, I know but. Would I be enough for my child? It feels very punishing. And so lonely.I’m so glad you wrote in. You need listening to.

You feel punished, you are suffering with excruciating feelings of shame, but that doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong. You haven’t. It sounds like your ex-partner didn’t know until insemination was imminent that this was definitely not what she wanted, so you cannot be expected to be able to guess what she herself didn’t yet know.

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