But I still wanted to keep my options open. At 35, my partner and I met with a fertility doctor about freezing my eggs. He and I learned thatwas more difficult to predict in a woman’s mid-30s. For the greatest likelihood of success conceiving in my late 30s, we would need not only to freeze embryos but also genetically test them – both of which are more expensive and time-consuming than freezing eggs.
It was during the year of researching how to freeze my eggs and make embryos that I began to notice the positive aspects of motherhood in my clinical work. I had taken care of enough patients to see that even those suffering from severe perinatal mood and anxiety disorders got better with treatment.
Soon after, my partner and I started trying to have a baby. After seven tedious months, I got pregnant, only to have a first trimester miscarriage over Thanksgiving in 2020. The loss was emotionally and physically painful even with a good support system to lean on. But looking back, the part that stands out to me was how happy I was to be pregnant for those few weeks. That unexpected joy gave me clarity that we were making the right choice.
Since I was 37 at the time, we decided to pursue in vitro fertilisation, and after about a year of hormone injections and multiple medical procedures, I got pregnant again. The baby now growing inside me does not feel like a parasite or an alien and every time I feel a kick I get a jolt of excitement.
But, that doesn’t mean my ambivalence has gone away. My career requires me to pour myself into my work in an almost singular fashion. Once I become a mother, I won’t have that luxury.
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Total Oil is reportedly preparing to pay $ 250 million to members of the military council of militant leader Min Aung Hlaing, and if the money reaches Min Aung Hlaing, it could lead to further torture and killings of the Burmese people.