Why we all need some self-love: How a cancer diagnosis pushed a people pleaser to put her own needs first

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A cancer diagnosis led Tata Tse on a two-year journey of self-discovery, learning to love herself.

She practises “sound bathing” daily using a gong whose vibrations are said to reduce stress and anxiety.Diagnosed with thyroid and lymph node cancer, she felt emotionally “stuck”. She signed on to a hypnotherapy course in Sheung Wan in Hong Kong, where she learned to work through self-sabotaging thoughts, improve her relationship with herself – and cultivate a more positive mindset.

“I’d also say yes to people even if what they wanted didn’t align with my values. I was afraid of doing anything that would upset them or make them dislike me.” “Far from narcissistic or selfish, loving yourself is actually the healthiest way to function. Unfortunately, many people deny giving themselves love and attention because they deem it to be selfish; this stems from the belief that being a ‘good person’ means to be selfless and to think only of others.

Self-love motivates us to make healthier choices, from our lifestyle habits to the types of people we socialise with. “In a nutshell, the biggest consequence of not having self-love is continuing to feel that you’re not good enough, and you may spend most of your life consciously or unconsciously making up for it,” says Samtani.

 

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