BETHESDA, MD—Singling out the behavior as one of the leading risk factors for premature mortality, a report published Monday by the National Institute of Health confirmed that over 90,000 Americans die every year from living the way you do. “Our research shows that thousands in this country die needlessly from behaving in the exact manner that you go about your daily life,” said report author Dr.
Elliot Weinstein, indicating that your manner of sleeping, eating, drinking, socializing, and even maintaining back posture have driven countless individuals across the United States to an early death. “What’s especially unfortunate is how preventable these deaths are. All these individuals have to do is take one look at your current state—just a single look—and realize that this is not a person anyone should want to emulate.
Living way you do, kills grammar police too.
I’ll probably be fine though 😶
Just a coincidence I say!
Um, I understand what you're going for here, but have you considered how this tweet might affect people in the trans community? Many would read this as yet another attack on their lifestyle. I know you can do better, onion.