How Black Women Can Overcome Sexual Repression, According to Badass Sex Doulas

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We spoke to two sex doulas on how Black women can feel sexually liberated.

."My struggles with my sexuality were definitely that I didn't really know who I was as a sexual person and who I was allowed to be," she said, adding that no matter how much she tried to be what society said a sexual person was, it just wasn't her.

Her quest to define her sexuality is what led her to becoming a sexuality doula. She trademarked the title"sexuality doula" because she wants to honor the Black women who came before her and were thrusted into work asbecause of slavery. These heroes supported both enslaved women and white women through the delivery of their children and were also seen as spiritual healers.

Richardson suggests discovering what turns you on non-sexually and sexually."This is especially important for Black women," she explained."Because of patriarchy, our pleasure has been denied, stumped down, and hidden and we deny ourselves." Consequently, many Black women don't feel deserving of pleasure or become accustomed to prioritizing others' pleasure over their own. To help her clients prioritize pleasure, Richardson tells them to create pleasure goals for the month and keep track of them using a pleasure journal. You can do this by making a note of anything that brings you pleasure, whether it's eating broccoli or wearing a fabric that feels nice against your skin.

That said, you don't need a sex doula to sexually liberate yourself. What's most important is that you show yourself grace, compassion, and kindness as you unlearn toxic beliefs and adopt new ones. As Whitney rightly states, ultimately,"The most important sexual relationship you'll ever have is the sexual relationship you have with yourself."

 

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