Scrumptious dip. Buy dogecoin ToTheMoon
Missing teen last seen wearing his Osiris shoes and JNCO jeans
Good for him
I can tell by the way his backpack is hanging slightly to the left that it is most likely filled with AirB&B coupons
Teenagers think they know everything
Teens are soo powerful
His crypto wallet will carry him over...
Wait for the After picture on Breaking911 two years from now when he’s rescued from a human trafficking ring in Operation Karma Chameleon
He'll just trade up from Fun Dip to Meth in a couple of weeks
'Not book-smart, so let's hope he's street-smart...'
Wtf? Lol
Missing Teen Believed To Be Plucky Hero Motivated To Bring Down Dystopian System Without Aid; Love Triangle Yet To Be Confirmed
'Street-smart' is the best kind of smart, eh Timmy?
Nothing funny about this
That's so inspiring
kafka tamura can relate
No, he doesn't.
Can he share his wisdom, cause I could use a little of that self confidence rn
SundayGrandExpo 4. Purity, Holiness and Righteousness governs the Moral Law of the LORD. 회개와거룩함사역회 SundayGrandExpo
😭😭💀💀💀
Yeah
HE HAS BAD PARENTS! AND YOU'RE THE WORST NEWS SOURCE! LIKE WHAT THE FUCK!?!? (funny comedy parody tweet ha)
Probably gotten picked up by a friendly-looking man in a white van. I'm sure nothing terrible will happen.
Too many JRPG's start this way.
he’s probly better off
He does look like he can take care of himself. However, if he is a 'Missing Teen' how did you guys find him?
The Warriors (1979)
Tadgho78
For once, The Onion is honest about how they feel about our most vulnerable. They don't give a 💩. TheOnionSucks
Plenty of fence to eat, right beside him.
He does have all of that White Priledge to fall back on.
Didn't 18 yr olds used to marry, have kids, own oxen, till the soil?
Missing teen restarts Project Purity, says the lame-as-f*ck Brotherhood of Steel
Little shit abandoned by parents twice, evades attempted murder.
I heard Fallwell is looking for a new pool boy...
I stopped drinking milk once they stopped posting 'the photos.' It made breakfast so much more enjoyable.
Looks like he will go to an adventure to discover himself and find his own strength to fight his weakness
Oof
It is what it is
He lives in a dog house in the neighbors backyard
yeah he’s fine
I don’t know, he’s white. We’re going to hear about how he comes from a broken household and sells drugs and boosted walkmans before society gives up on him. Gotta show us the mitigating factors before we treat him like a missing black girl.
Ngl this kid could play Percy Jackson in the upcoming adaptation 🤔
He’ll nick your bike for $20.
Looks like his parents brought him up right
He already has a successful Individual Cigarette business.
'Mom, he is not missing, he is just in his room, he will show up if you scream 'dinner's ready''
Who else reads these? They're pretty funny
He looks like he has his life more together than I do and I'll be 22 in a week.
😢
“The Onion kidnaps teen to prove a point”
In this economy?
Where is he located from ?
Right now? No way