EPA To Drop 'E,' 'P' From Name

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WASHINGTON, DC—Days after unveiling new power-plant pollution regulations that rely on an industry-favored market-trading approach to cutting mercury emissions, EPA Acting Administrator Stephen Johnson announced that the agency will remove the “E” and “P” from its name. “We’re not really ‘environmental’ anymore, and we certainly aren’t ‘protecting’ anything,” Johnson said. “’The Agency’ is a name that reflects our current agenda and encapsulates our new function as a government-funded body devoted to handling documents, scheduling meetings, and fielding phone calls.” The change comes on the heels of the Department of Health and Human Services’ January decision to shorten its name to the Department of Services.

 

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LeilaniMunter Also don’t forget Bill Barr’s Justice Departed

Is that the Death Star?

Yep

AddisonKStark

DevinCow Why? EPA works just as well as Environmental Pollution Agency.....

JohnEberlin

DevinCow Might as well remove “United States” as well as it only people it “serves” are the poisonous, oily corporate comrades of EPAAWheeler and realDonaldTrump.

DevinCow The world is so fucked and Trump Admin so evil and stupid, this seemed 101% believeable.

DevinCow Sadly, I can’t tell if this is a joke or real life.

DevinCow Satire is so hard these days. 😉

DevinCow It’s not at all funny. But it’s funny.

DevinCow Unfortunately this is not very far from the truth.😕

DevinCow I liked it better when the Onion wasn't actually reporting the news.

The air is so polluted you can’t see the sign most days anyway

I would've gotten rid of the p and the a. 'Hi there, I work for E'

🤣🤣

Damn, I thought Pruitt and Wheeler were dropping a short form follow up to their first album Superfun

EPA_Victoria can follow suit...

This is not parody. This what has already happened.

U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

Makes sense. It does fuck all to protect the environment and seems to just exist now to give civil servants paychecks.

Imagine dropping the 'A' too. Then it would be just

Good to see efficiency in government

I appreciate the honesty

Bruh

24Nathan

You're just not funny anymore Onion TheBabylonBee is chopping you up.

“We’re not really ‘environmental’ anymore, and we certainly aren’t ‘protecting’ anything,” Johnson said. The change comes on the heels of the Department of Health and Human Services’ January decision to shorten its name to the Department of Services.

cannot be true!!! insane

Next: United States drops 'United' from name

The agency that does things yes

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