Mike Pompeo Warns Iran Stockpiling Tubes To Build Ventilator

📆 4/14/2020 9:38 PM
📰 TheOnion

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WASHINGTON—Declaring that the coronavirus pandemic should not affect America’s hardline stance against the Middle Eastern republic, U.S. secretary of state Mike Pompeo warned Tuesday that he strongly suspected Iran of stockpiling tubes to build a ventilator. “Iran has repeatedly ignored our messages to refrain from building up a medical arsenal, and new intelligence shows that the regime could have a fully functional ventilator up and running in as little as a few weeks,” said Pompeo, adding that satellite images taken by U.S. spy planes appeared to show Iranian scientists assembling a cache of medical-grade valves. “There are also credible reports that Iran has acquired high-grade extension cords, and the regime refuses to deny that these cables could be used to power ventilators. This is clearly an effort to undermine American influence in the region, and one that could save thousands of Iranian lives. If we fail to act now, Iran will have a fully operational ventilator, which will not only strengthen their medical capacity but could produce a domino effect where they funnel tubes, valves, and knobs to other U.S. adversaries. A ventilator-capable Iran portends a dangerous new era for the world, which is why I call on President Trump to increase sanctions, and, if necessary, explore military action.” Pompeo added that the U.S. would only be willing to negotiate if Iranian officials turned over their entire supply of tubes to the U.N.

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wally_polischuk trump is desperate for any win

Bibi worried it will steal Israel’s oxygen.

Brilliant

Pompeo looks like the coach who gives you the std lecture in high school and secretly gets off on all the disgusting medical slides

Hopefully for their own citizens, then

Mike pomp ass a oh

They'll cure us all!

Iran is getting petty now

Are we allowed to fart?

Partisangirl hahaha wouldn't be surprised if he actually does say that! However would change Ventilators to nukes and add uranium enriched to tubes.

Partisangirl

If these statements are real then the US GOVT should be prosecuted over war crimes!!! So much absurdity!!!!!👿

TweetOutLoudBre Medical grade ventilator is now a threat?

GeromanAT 😂🤣🤣 The Onion has a hard time keeping up with the comedy that is almost anything that comes out of the mouths of USA government officials and its sycophant media. But this is a good one.

Khaaasteh What is he the tube boss now? Damn!

GeromanAT Nice one ha ha ha but due to americas stupidity and lies could be true :)

They want to made pipelines with those tubes. 🤣🤣🤣

Is this satire?

😄😂😂

Shit 😂😂

Radioactive ventilators that dispense VX or mustard gas depending on your mood. They bring democracy too!!

Tubes are dual-purpose technology: they can be used in the washrooms of uranium enrichment centers.

i thought this was real until i saw who posted. the theory that the onion writers write for reality grows more credible each day

We're screwed.

ruminativePiSHi It's not even funny cuz Iran can't build that. In other words there is more probability that they make something harmful like weapons for militias than other things.

Are you guys still part of the yuwanmei conglomerate?

now that's funny

We must target their strategic tahini supplies before they have enough to produce hummus.

time for an anti-viral Tomahawk cruise missile

Likely will be reported as real news on FOX.

This wouldn't be an issue if we still had the tubular deal.

A targeted airstrike will put a stop to that nonsense.

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